For the purpose of full disclosure, I’m going to be straight up with you all.
I wrote this article weeks ago, but I specifically chose to post it now in hopes of possibly changing someone’s plans for Valentine’s Day.
I’m also going to admit…that this one is long.
Now that that’s out the way, let’s get to it.
There is a 13-letter, two-word phrase that has been wreaking havoc on our demographic for years. I’ll scramble the letters for you and see if you can figure it out.
PREMATIRAL SXE
Alright, admittedly that wasn’t much of a scramble, but I didn’t want to waste too much time on fun, when this is such a serious topic.
Based on a study done in 2007 by the Pew Research Center, almost 67% of the survey participants in our demographic (18-29 years old) believe there is nothing wrong with premarital sex. That percentage includes both Christians and non-Christians, and you could argue that since we don’t know the percentage of either group that we must take that figure with a grain of salt.
OK, OK. I’ll see your argument and raise you this figure. Almost 50% of the survey participants that professed to be protestant Christians also felt there was nothing wrong with premarital sex. The other half of the group felt the exact opposite, with only a small percentage that fell into the “unsure” category.
How can Christians be so divided or unsure on something that the Bible is very clear about?
Without getting too heavy into theories of culpability and fault, I’ll just say this.
Pure and simple; we’re humans…and humans are selfish.
We want to do things our own way, and we don’t want anyone telling us what we can or cannot do. Not even God.
This has come to hurt us as Christians because we’ve debated and rationalized everything that we’ve wanted to do, whether it’s good for us or not. We’re offended by people who preach Biblical truth because they’re “judgmental.” And we feel justified in our actions when no one is telling us when we’re wrong.
Now to be fair, the trend didn’t start with us, but we’ve picked up where those before us left off. Not many years ago, being alone, late at night, with your significant other was considered a compromising situation. Now, that’s just considered the norm. What many sought to do discreetly, years ago, is now being done blatantly and in full view of the public. It’s a sign that giving in to our selfish desires leads us into direct conflict with God.
The story of Samson and Delilah, while commonly used as warning against being unequally yoked, also illustrates the dangers of human selfishness. Though Samson was chosen by God to be a leader and deliverer for his people, his selfish desires led him to a woman that would eventually deceive him and lead to his ruin.
And I know we give Delilah a bad rap, but what else should we have expected from someone who didn’t know or love God? Delilah may have loved Samson, but Satan presented a temptation to her that was too tempting to pass up. And when presented with that temptation she had no root or foundation in God that allowed her to look past her selfishness and think of Samson.
Selfishness causes us to disregard God’s word when it comes to pleasing ourselves. We’re more interested in doing what makes us feel good instead of doing what is right in God’s eyes. Samson was given plenty of warning signs as Delilah pressured him to know the secret of his strength, a secret that God told Samson to never tell anyone.
If we’re in a relationship with someone who is constantly pressuring us to go against God’s word, we must seriously evaluate that relationship. Because there will come a time when they will be put in a situation in which they’ll be forced to choose between pleasing themselves or us. And we need to be confident to know that they love God enough to not do anything that would go against God’s word.
This concept applies to all areas of our lives, but on Valentine’s Day I want to specifically apply it to the area of sex and dating. God’s word is clear about sexual immorality (Read these verses to find out just how clear it is: 1 Corinthians 6:18; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5; Matthew 5:28; 1 Corinthians 6:9-10; Colossians 3:5.)
If we’re in a relationship with someone who wants us to be sexually immoral, we need to question their commitment to God. The same goes for those of us trying to get others to disobey God’s word.
So, this Valentine’s Day, don’t just look for someone that loves you; look for someone that loves God. Because when it comes to either pleasing themselves or God, you want to know that they love God enough to not compromise you.
Sexual purity is a real struggle nowadays though. It’s almost like Pringles in that once you pop, you just can’t stop. And society tells us that it’s perfectly natural and okay to engage in sex before marriage. Movies, music, magazines (and other words that start with “m”) all seem to condone sex in all arenas, whether it’s in marriage, dating, or even affairs.
With all this going around it can be hard to keep a level head and some Godly perspective. But here’s some advice for those of you in a serious committed relationship and, like the title of this post, are burning up with lust; take Paul’s advice in 1 Corinthians 7:9 and just get married. Don’t continue to gratify self over following God’s word because the more we do, the farther we get from God. If you want to delay marriage, then ask God for strength and self-control to overcome the temptation.
For everyone dealing with this temptation, rest on this promise from God in 1 Corinthians 10:13, “No temptation[a] has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted[b] beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted,[c] he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”
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